My fellow Americans, it is very important that I explain to you all that we are all going to die. First there was Swine Flu, which as you know has killed millions in Amerca, and by millions I mean 114. But is the media really overplaying this, of course not, why would fox news indicate that 1000 people had died of swine flu when really that's the number of people who have died of the flu in general. Also, how could you not put faith in our media, besides, even if they were spinning things to make it more interesting, everyone loves a horror story right? I mean it is Halloween.
But if our impending doom wasn't enough, we have only received 2 million of the vaccine. So you know what that means, we need to join the 1700 people who lined up to get the vaccine on thursday.
So watch out, because this was a bio-weapon made by Obama-Hitler to make us support his health plan.
Information was taken from the CDC and one article from a fox news affiliate that made me chortle to an immense degree. Oh, and the California Report.
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8 comments:
I had to reread this at least four times to get the satire.
"by millions I mean 114"
I thought it was 114 million...my mistake. I guess there isn't anything wrong with the newscast's exaggeration to make sure that the public will go get their shots but yeah I agree...
How are we suppose to believe them if they are going to lie to us about the things that matter?
Well, what did you expect? The media is a business, and thus needs viewers. It's going to capitalize on anything that has a good possibility of being "big".
Now, is Swine Flu the deadly pandemic of the century? Probably not. But it's still another potentially-deadly disease.
While I realize that this is a satire, don't you think that the "Obama-Hitler" clause goes a little far?
Me too Lily!! I didnt see the satire at first, but I finally do. I'm not saying it's okay for the media to exaggerate, but even though swine flu may not be a huge epidemic right now, who knows? The number of students at Aragon coughing and blowing their noses is pretty high. I'm pretty sure none if at all any of them have swine flu, but it's still pretty nerve racking. Thank the Lord for the hand sanitizers in ever classroom!!!
I think this is kinda related to Unspun, but at the same time, it's a good thing that so many people are being "spun". I would much rather have a country that is super conscious of a small but potential threat than to have the media hide everything from us and leave us completely unaware and unready if this h1n1 virus does indeed start to grow into something larger. I, for one, got my h1n1 vaccine as well as my seasonal flu vaccine. Better safe than sorry.
"I would much rather have a country that is super conscious of a small but potential threat than to have the media hide everything from us and leave us completely unaware and unready if this h1n1 virus does indeed start to grow into something larger."
I don't know about you, but I would much rather hear the truth. Both options you presented are examples of "spin."
Futhermore, the media's job is not to spin, but make aware of current problems. I think this over-exaggeration is just ridiculous. Seriously, it does not harm anyone to know the truth.
PS: Great satire.
Even though the media is scary everyone, I think it is justified so that people will become more aware of the swine flu and prevent it from spreading even more. But even though this has been in the news I have never seen it.. maybe i dont watch enough news.
This reminds of last week when my mom took me to get my swine flu vaccine and they ran out.. they need to get more vaccine!
I agree. The news and media is business. Without viewers, they wouldn't be making much. And if they didn't have what interested viewers, no one will be watching them. Swine flu is not the only deadly pandemic of the century. Enough people die from the regular flu each year.
I agree with Preston. I would rather be aware of such a threat than to have it hidden and not know the threats that it might contain.
Hahaha. Thank you Jeff.
Of course the media is going to exaggerate and fudge the details, but at least they're trying to keep the public informed...right? I don't know, though. Is scaring the crap out of everyone really good for us?
Well, anyway, I believe that the media is overplaying the swine flu. I'm pretty sure it can be avoided the same way as the regular flu: wash your hands, try to eat healthy, and don't think that every little sniffle around you could be swine flu because the paranoia will get to you.
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