Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Tiger Mom's Husband Speaks Out

I'm not sure about how many of you have heard of Amy Chua, otherwise known as Tiger Mom. In the beginning of January, Amy Chua, a professor at Yale, wrote a highly controversial article titled "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior." (Read entire article here: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html) To summarize it all, Amy Chua wrote about how Western parents do not instill good values in their children because they are lenient and only ask that their children try their best. Amy Chua believes that parents need to be strict with their kids just like she is. For example, she doesn't let her children go on playdates or attend sleepovers; she doesn't let them watch TV or go on the computer; she makes her children get straight As and be the smartest in all of their classes; and she requires her children to play either the piano, violin or both.

Recently, Amy Chua's Caucasian husband, Jed Rubenfeld, also a Yale professor, expressed his support for his wife. He was quoted saying, "99% of the time absolutely I agreed with it, because as I was saying for me these were traditional American values, not Asian, so yes, I was on board with it." I was honestly surprised about this, but if her husband agrees with her, then maybe Tiger Mom's parenting style isn't as horrible as I initially thought.

4 comments:

Scott Silton said...

FYI I saw Amy Chua on TV and it seems to me that the criticism of her book was overblown; parts of her book were tongue-in-cheek and parts were reflecting upon and questioning her balance. In fact, on the cover of the book under the title, it reads "This is a story about a mother, 2 daughters, and 2 dogs. This was supposed to be a story about how Chinese parents are better at raising kids than Western ones. But instead, its about a bitter clash of cultures, a fleeting taste of glory, and how I was humbled by a 13 year old."

Having been raised in a rather libertarian household, I think most kids would benefit from a happy medium. As much as I would have whined about it, a little more strictness would have been good for me. Then again, I'm not a fan of using shame as a major tool of discipline. I feel for students who work hard and get OK to good grades but whose parents expect the ridiculous. You know the type, I'm sure.

michelleyu said...

Although I'm sure that parts of her book, along with most things, were blown up, her underlying message in the article and book remains the same: In order to raise "successful kids", you must rule with an authoritative hand, which I happen to disagree with.

In her article, she listed out a series of activities that her daughters could never participate in or do, activities such as have play-dates, watch TV, choose their own extracurriculars, get any grade less than an A, or even participate in a school play. This list seems trivial, in many sorts, and even a little absurd. Her style of parenting, I believe, places major restraints on the academic, creative, and social capabilities of her children, which I don't feel parents should play that much of a role in.

Like Mr. Silton, I agree that a medium would probably benefit kids the most, as it provides them with both the structure/boundaries and autonomy that is necessary to make it in the real world.

Scott Silton said...

Another take on the Chua book:
http://econlog.econlib.org/archives/2011/02/the_tiger_mothe.html

Nicole Yue said...

I agree with Mr.Silton,
There has to be a happy medium.
But I guess it depends on the outlook of the children. Do they accept the parenting style their mother gives them, and appreciates the fact their mother does all in her power to make them successful? Or do they resent it, but can't do anything because they're just kids?

Imagine what happens when kids who are suppressed their whole lives finally get the "freedom" they've always craved for. They go crazy. It's common sense. When they finally get to college or turn 18, when they can finally make their own decisions. The kids that go the most crazy and wild in college, are usually the ones whom had no freedom as children.

Another insight on Amy Chua's parenting. Is that she's taking away from her childrens' childhood. I mean sure, her kids are successful they got to play in a prestigious performance. But is that worth taking/stealing away a childs childhood? Childhood is the only time we can live without having to worry about problems, to have fun and to be a kid.