Sunday, October 10, 2010

The Problem with Expectations

It's nice every now and then to think you know how things are going to turn out. I'm pretty sure that's why most of us do what we do, the expectation that things are going to go our way. I mean, why would you try something at all if you knew the end result would be failure?

Expectations bombard us constantly throughout our lives. Your parents (generally) expect to see that you have a happy life and a happy future. You expect that going to school and working hard will reward you with a lucrative career, or a career that will make you happy. But expectations can sometimes be harmful. Expecting something to make you happy if you haven't really experienced it yet, for example, is a recipe for disaster. So, for example, you've got a pretty clear idea of what you're doing to get this new job you've been thinking about, and you figure that it'd be a waste of time to take that internship because you think you know what it is you are getting into, and then when you get there you find out that it wasn't all that you dreamed it would be. So where did all that work go? It probably won't feel so great that all of that just happened, but there isn't much to do about it besides just getting back up and doing the whole thing over again with a different goal.

It's not secret that things don't always go the way we want them. Plans change as often as minds about trivial or inconsequential topics do. Expecting that one must stay on the same road all their life may be fine for some, but I think it's pretty safe to assume that most are not content with monotony. The fact that on average, people will have 7-10 occupations throughout their lifetime is evidence of that.

I think what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't get upset if things don't go your way or if you have to adjust your plans. It's important to be able to adapt to changes in your environment. Being able to do so in the past ensured the survival of the human race as a species. The importance of being able to do so in this day and age is not any less important than it was then. I'm not saying you shouldn't ever expect anything, because the prospect of doing so seems unrealistic. But it's important to be able to carry on, even if things don't seem to go your way. Ups and downs are part of life's package, and if you find that you're currently in the middle of a down slope, just remember that it's going to pull up eventually.


Links
Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom
Adolescence and the problem of parental expectations

2 comments:

Tony Zhang said...

I think expectations should be more of a general goal that we want to accomplish. I agree that someone shouldn't beat themselves over an expectation that didn't come to fruition, but I also don't think that it's wrong to set an expectation that seems too high. I think high expectations will encourage people to give 110% in order to try to make an expectation come true. But if it doesn't come true we should still be happy with how much we were able to achieve. So I guess what I'm trying to say is we should set our goals high but not be discouraged if we don't manage to achieve them; we should be happy with how far we get.

Michelle Bunarjo said...

I agree that expectations motivate people to work harder towards a goal. If there were no high expectations, I don't think most people would give in their full effort. Expectations serve the purpose of having an endpoint, no matter how ambitious it is. Even if someone does not achieve a goal, it's still a learning experience and like Tony said, it's also a test to see how far we can get to achieving that goal. Just having the experience will guarantee that next time, you'll know not to make the same mistakes and you can approach the situation with a different outlook.